Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Heavy thoughts

Little by little, I'm getting prepared for my imminent (three weeks!) departure. I had my first shipment of household goods go out on Monday...got my plane ticket...and today I got my visa. There's no turning back now, the thought of where I'm going to be and what I'm going to be doing is an amazing one. Sometimes I feel that I have no right to be so happy with my job when (a) I know there are so many people out there who hate their jobs and (b) there are so many people out there who need a job. When I'm thinking about it, I feel like it's almost like two for the price of one...not only do I have a job, the one I have is more incredible than I ever could have imagined.

More heartbreaking, too...eight of our Fort Carson Soldiers were killed in Afghanistan this past week. Eight of them in one battle...and for each of those eight, there are wives and girlfriends and parents and children and grandparents and friends and hundreds and thousands of people who are remembering these Soldiers as their hearts are breaking. I know all of the Soldiers I know will only ever say that, "I'm just doing my job." Who else would take this job? Who else would purposely put themselves in harm's way to fight an admittedly hard-to-find enemy? They're all so young. Guys my age and younger, giving everything. And somehow I can't even put into words how heartbreaking this is.

Read this article and look at the pictures. They're so little -- young -- to have given so much. I know a lot of my friends may not support the war or may not understand why I feel so passionate about what I do. Look at those faces, imagine their families, think about what they're going through and how hard it must be for a wife or a mother or a child to know that their beloved husband, son, or father is doing a job, thousands of miles away, that means he is not only in danger, but the whole purpose of his job is to put himself in harm's way. Imagine living with that knowledge for 12 months, 15 months, even 18 months (long deployments). That's why I'm so passionate about what I do.

Two more -- so so young. It hurts my heart but makes me even more determined to keep on with what I'm doing. If they can give so much, I can do my part.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Ner-erd!

Ugh. Oh how I would've wished for this dilemma when I was a mere sprig of a girl. You know, those halcyon days when 90% of your journal entries asked such unanswerable (then) questions as, "Wah wah boohoo why don't boys like me?"

Answer: you were an awkward nerd who was taller than them, read a lot of books, dressed like a hobo, had braces until 10th grade, didn't learn the importance of tweezing until about the same time, and thought that sarcasm was the preferable mode of communication.

Now, apparently, this is no longer the case. I do feel I have remained true to my nerdling impulses, but I think said impulses are balanced out by the fact that I now have (a sort of) fashion sense, no braces, keep the 'brows under lock and key, and have a sense of humor about all of it. (Granted, I am still sarcastic, but I know how to choose my audience now.)

When I go back to Michigan this fall, I'll have to see if I can find some of my old journals; I imagine they will be concurrently hilarious and horrifying. I often wish I could go back to my Younger Self, whack her across the face, tell her not to be stupid, and say, "No, REALLY, things do get better!" Unfortunately, she probably would just roll her eyes at me, say, "Yeah, whatever," and then slouch off to her room to write tortured journal entries. ("UGH, why is everyone so STUPID?!? I can't wait to get out of this town, blahblahblah guys suck.")

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Closing in

Listening to Tourist by Athlete brings me back to 141 Whiteknights, circa 2004-2005...it constantly amazes me, this power that music has. It's been awhile since I listened to the album all the way through.

I had a spoonful of Nutella earlier and thought about an experience I had whilst staying at a youth hostel in Rome. During my two and a half months of backpacking through Europe, one of my constants was to always have a little jar of Nutella for late night deliciousness. As I had my daily spoonful, a fellow backpacker said, "I love Nutella, but I never thought to eat it with a spoon!" I mean, really?!? How do you look at Nutella and not immediately think, "Hmmm, I think I'll eat that with a spoon!"?

Nomnom.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Sweet sassy molassey

Although I have a fear of coming over all hippie-dippy, today’s horoscope hit a little too close to home: It's challenging for you to stay focused on your day-to-day affairs when your future contains so much uncertainty. You are often quite confident about what you are doing, but now questions arise that can increase your self-doubt over the overall direction of your life. Keep in mind that getting tangled up in your long-term goals may simply be a way of escaping from your immediate obligations. Be a good Aries and concentrate on the here-and-now.

With the temporary demise of my internet and questionable weather, I have taken up the pen and journal again and, interestingly enough, a lot of what I’ve been writing about has been about this very same thing. 99% of the time, I love what I doing and know that I’m doing the absolute right thing. That 1% is a killer, though. Questioning the whole direction of your life, even if it’s just for a few hours, is more than a little draining. There are times when I wish with all my heart that I was satisfied more easily, that I didn’t care about moving up, seeing the world, doing what I’m doing. Those are the times when the stereotypical American dream (1950s style) seems awfully attractive.

After all, one can’t be ferociously independent all the time. I can’t imagine being any other way, but the 1950s ideal has an undeniable appeal at times. White picket fence, martinis ready for the dear husband upon his return from the rat race, 2.5 kids, maybe a dog or two – now that I’m in my logical mind, it all sounds pretty awful. But that 1%!

Getting ready for Korea – holy schamoly, it’s gonna be here soon!

The story of my failed internet connection is a long, sordid tale. I thought it was something as simple as them just having to reboot the modem from their end or whatever. Instead, I got a lesson in the charming illogicality of wiring in older buildings. I did have an awesome repairman. He stayed until everything was running smoothly and actually made himself late for his other appointments. Loooong story short, my neighbors apparently got internet (I’m guessing on Thursday), and oh joy! we were apparently on the same line. When my repairman was testing the line, he said there was definitely more than one modem hooked up to it (which obviously ain’t too helpful). So instead of just rebooting or doing whatever, he ended up having to rewire my telephone jack, and then he was awesome enough to also rewire it so that my signal wouldn’t go past my apartment. I am mostly amazed that there are people out there who know how to do these kinds of things. I’ve heard horror stories about repairmen who had no idea what they were doing, but I definitely lucked out and got a guy who knows his business. He even gave me his card in case I have any issues in the future. Moral of the story: I am, surprisingly, impressed by Qwest customer service!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

FYI

My internet at home is currently out of commission. I'll be getting on Qwest's case about that, but until then...alas! My internet presence will be greatly reduced.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

A few pictures

I am about to dive headfirst into a viewing of S1 of "Doctor Who," so before aforementioned diving, I thought I'd liven this here blog up with some more pictures.

I like this one because a fire hydrant seems so incongruous when one finds it in the middle of a field. This is actually just off some trail at Garden of the Gods, which is this huge and beautiful city park here in Colorado Springs!

Here is a picture taken during our hike at Garden of the Gods! It is rather picturesque.


Along San Antonio's River Walk. I loved the multicolored umbrellas framed by the old bridge. Immediately after this photo was taken, I unfortunately had one of the most mediocre Reubens ever (thus wasting my one Reuben a month allowance), but at least it was pretty!

Hi, guys! My wax lion, posing at the San Antonio Zoo. He now hangs out at the office with me. His name is Lambert (after Lambert the Sheepish Lion fame).

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Pictorial

Ughhhh, yesterday I had some bizarro 12-hour flu thing. Left work a bit early and passed out at home after drinking copious amounts of ginger ale. Bingo! Miracle cure. I'm amazed that I've avoided getting sick for so long, what with the whole "working at a hospital" thing.

Awww, not for much longer. Gotta say, one of the things I'll miss the most is working at a hospital with all my amazing volunteers. We're always doing a hundred different things. I know I'll be busy elsewhere, but I really just love it there.

But today! my auntie and uncle are coming to visit! They're fantastic; they recently got a big van RV thingy and my uncle wants to drive it around. Hah. I've been working on cleaning my apartment. I wish cleaning three rooms didn't take so much damn time! It's because I let myself get distracted so easily. I would be a terrible housewife; my husband would come home to a sinkful of dishes in cold water, piles of books that were in the midst of being organized, and a hastily scrawled note that says I've gone exploring. Sorry, honey!

One of the unforeseen effects of my upcoming move is my re-devotion to the written word. The REAL written word, i.e. pen to paper, tongue to envelope, fingers to keyboard searching Gmail and Facebook for people's updated addresses. Sheesh, y'all need to stop moving around on me! I have quite the pile of stationery boxes full of cards and lovely paper, ready to make their way into the world covered with my words o' wisdom. (Or stories about hilarious dumbassery, WHATEVER.) So I think my address book is finally-and-fully updated now.

I think a few pictures from my time here in Colorado are long overdue. So without further adieu (bilingual rhyming, I AM AWESOME), ta DA!

Killary and I took the Cog Railway up to the top of Pikes Peak when she was here in June. Colorado Springs is at roughly 6000'. Minnehaha, as we can all see, is at 8332'. The very very tippy-top of Pikes Peak peaks (har!) at just over 14,000'. At 14,115', it is one of the shorter Fourteeners. So more than two miles into the air makes you just sorta average? Damn.


Sarah and Haley visited in April and we went on a road trip! We ended up in Cripple Creek, which is an old mining town that's become a sort of gambling mecca. Not really high stakes, but plenty o' poker and slot machines. The coolest thing about the town is that they've preserved all the old buildings and advertisements. You'll find that in a lot of these old mining towns; everything is remarkably well-preserved and there really seems to be a huge effort to keep things as they were, while changing the purpose of, say, the corner drugstore into a casino.


Picture on the left? That's how Old Colorado City looked when Lindsey and I started out. Picture on the right? That's what it looked like, three hours later, as we were heading into downtown Colorado Springs. Yay Colorado weather!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Days of the week

When I was wee, I could tell the days of the week because I had awesome underwear. Now I'm leaving just as I learned a new way to do it:

Mondays: half price wine at Il Vicino
Tuesdays: $2 Fat Tires at Old Chicago
Wednesdays: Quiz Night at McCabe's
Thursdays: T'irsty T'ursdays at Quinn's
Fridays: free (haha)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

doo doo doooooOOOOOO suspenseful music!

It's been a week of mixed blessings. D left for a few months to take care of family stuff...by the time he comes back to Colorado, I'll be in another country. Sigh. So we're in that weird limbo where you still really like the other person but at the same time you know there's nothing you can do and it's just not the right time.

But in response to my last post (sorry to be so vague then, but it really just had not sunk in): I'm moving! Have a report date in November...annnnnd I'm going to South Korea!!!!! SO EXCITED. Seriously, who does things like this? What kind of crazy-ass job actually lets you go places like that? I'm bummed because I won't be working in a hospital, but our mission overseas is different from what we do here, so I am pretty thrilled to get to do a lot more! My top two choices were Korea and Germany, so one out of two ain't bad! Haha, looks like I'll still get to do a Leah in Korea blog. ;) (Don't laugh, I am excited because the only other words my name rhymes with are....rather unfortunate.)

So -- that's the news, and nothing but. Today is a lazy Sunday with toast and Earl Grey and maybe some vacuuming. I've become Leah the Beetle Slayer; I keep finding those bastards walking all fat and smug across my floor. Generally, I'm the type to catch bugs and let them loose, but for some reason those fat little beetles with their skittery legs bug (hah!) the bejebus out of me. Last night, one was ballsy enough to meander next to my book, so I took my Popsicle stick and sent him to beetle heaven (should there be such a place).

Now for more tea, more Great Big Sea, more Harry Potter, more deliciously lazy Sunday-ness!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

YES

So, I still need a little time to process this...but if you want to visit me in Colorado, you should definitely do it before November! Just had the greatest news today, but y'know -- I want to make sure it's fo' realz because it just seems too damn awesome.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

This week....

...has been one HELL of a week. Today was the first day I think I've ever felt like I was about to cry at work. So many frustrations and people wanting things and me not being able to help them and feeling pummeled and pushed on all sides. And THEN getting home and talking to a good friend and realizing how awful a week it had been, personally and professionally, making the executive decision to go to Quinn's, and then going out to the parking lot to find that I had a flat tire. So I drove the 200' to the gas station, tried to fill it, nothing. The guy waiting for the air compressor very helpfully said, "I think there's a hole," and then proceeded to start putting in quarters for his car. Ass. So my friend picked me up, we went to Quinn's, came back to my place, and I called my insurance company to double check if I had roadside assistance. And I do! That two dollars (or whatever) a month? Totally worth it! Got service within half an hour, the dude was awesome, and my friend and I just hung out on her tailgate, drinking cheap wine out of juice glasses and laughing about the day. (This was a huge step up from feeling like punching someone in the knee.)

Moral of the story: Progressive Roadside Assistance all the way!  Woohoo! Absolutely, 100% worth it. Everyone: please make sure you have this (or the equivalent), as well as towing and a rental car agreement. You will be happy you did! Like the dude says, a non-insured visit costs $60. Six months of Roadside? Eight dollahs.

And tomorrow is the Summer Youth Volunteer Awards Ceremony. Hopefully it will go off without a hitch...have to be at the commissary at 0800, barfsticks.

But loud Irish music and cold Fat Tire also made it a good night. There are some weeks where that's the perfect therapy. Singing loudly, beating the table, eating Irish nachos...I'm going to miss that.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

As the French say...le sigh

When I was six, I thought being a grown-up would be the AWESOMEST THING EVER. I couldn't wait to be able to fit into Mom-sized shoes and do crazy things like DRIVE and EAT WHATEVER I WANTED.

Being a grown-up has its moments, I'll admit, but man oh man...sometimes I am not a fan. (Unintentional rhyming, woohoo!) When you do something not because you want to, but because you have to -- THAT'S being a grown-up.

And yet...things aren't nearly as bad as they could be, or as they've been before, and that's something wonderful about being all grown-up. I screwed up in the past, but the GLORIOUS thing about being grown-up is that you've (hopefully) gained enough wisdom to learn from screwing up and be wise enough to avoid doing the same thing. Again.

I'll probably be in another state or another country by next year...which is simultaneously wonderfully happyfying and a teensy bit heartbreaking. There are so (so so so so) many things I love about being here. Maybe being grown-up means I'll experience homesickness for the very first time.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Shuh-blam

I love the afternoon thunderstorms here. Sheets of rain, claps of thunder, countless flashes of lightning across the sky -- in fact, the weather in Colorado Springs is unusual enough that Nikola Tesla made his home here for a year and tested out his Tesla coil...knocked out the whole electrical infrastructure for the city! Granted, it was early 20th century electricity, but still. I think I remember the statistic...Colorado Springs has the highest number of lightning strikes in the country. We're in some sort of bizarro microclimate, but as actually doing five minutes of research on Google strikes me as being too much work at this particular moment, y'all will just have to take my word for it. Or research it and report back to me! A for effort.

I had a week in Michigan with family. The more I learn about other peoples' families, the more I come to realize how much I love and appreciate my affectionate, hilarious, Midwestern, ridiculous, amazing, smartly conservative and intelligently liberal family. Almost everyone's in a giving profession -- nurse, teacher, EMT, Episcopal priest-in-training --and we're all good at four things:

1) Hugging
2) Talking
3) Laughing
4) Eating

I mean, c'mon! Best family ever!

Camping in Grand County was awesome. I hadn't been back in three or four years. As glad as I am that I got out, I see now that it was a good place to be. I mean, I was there for two and a half days and ended up getting invited to a barbecue by friends who I ran into at the hardware store and whilst at said barbecue, talked to the parents of someone I went to school with from second to twelfth grades and then the woman who got my dad's teaching job after he left! Small town, ahoy!

My next transfer might be overseas...I know I won't know for awhile, but it's so much fun to imagine! Busting it out in Europe or Asia would be BAD ASS. Apparently, I've been doing good work here in Colorado, so word is getting around that I am un-lame at my job.

I am inordinately excited about having just ordered the following magazine subscriptions: Time, Harper's Magazine, Mental Floss, and Vanity Fair. Seriously. Is it normal to be this excited about something like that? I can't wait! There's something about the appearance of a big, fat, interesting magazine in one's mailbox that just brings a certain joy to the proceedings.

I've been looking through pictures and have come to the realization that I have two primary facial expressions. The first is Big Goony Smile. The second is a modified Blue Steel in which I just make a ridiculous face. What would it be like to be all sultry? Hmmm. I think sultry is generally not an adjective that I'm successful at embodying.

Smoochez!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Odd

Man, Facebook is weird...it keeps suggesting people as friends who I haven't been in touch with for years. I don't think they're still in my email contacts list. Hmmm. Very strange. Interesting to see what people are up to, though! I think we're all Nosy McNosertons at heart. It's like I tell my friends, I *like* to know what's going on with people, but not in a mean, gossipy way. It's just good to know...and often very interesting!

I friggin' love the elliptical trainer. Did about 35 minutes today, almost three miles and more than 400 calories! Crazy. I am sort of sweaty and gross right now. Probably going over to D's soon so will de-grossify sooner rather than later, but kind of nice to have cold, leftover pasta and a delicious Boulevard Brewing Co. Pale Ale whilst grossing it up.

Ohhhh man, went out for sushi with D last night and I was reminded of why I like him...we got six different kinds of sushi and this amazing, hot, plum sake. Dude puts crazy amounts of wasabi on his sushi, though. They also had GREEN iced tea and it was so good! I sucked that stuff down like it was going out of style. Mmmm.

And! and! Killary was here for a few days from VA and so so good to see her! Randy Mac ladies, unite! We did all the touristy stuff and had an awesome time. A sampling:
  1. Live Irish music at Jack Quinn's
  2. Quiz night at McCabe's
  3. Cog Railway from Manitou Springs to the top of Pikes Peak
  4. Miramont Castle
  5. The new Night at the Museum at the IMAX!
  6. Hike through Garden of the Gods
  7. Beer and delicious food at Phantom Canyon Brewing Company.
  8. Torchwood!
  9. etc.
It was a good time.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Crikey

After assertions from friends that my writing is, actually, missed...ta da! I don't know, it seems that when things get crazy and insane and I'm running in fourteen directions at once, the things that go first are the things that bring me the most joy. Reading voraciously, writing randomly, photographing the odd and beautiful...which is really quite backward, when you think about it. Why should I be doing these things when I am at my most relaxed and quiet minded-est? It would make more sense to do it when things are crazy and stressful because what better time to give your brain a pleasant thing to do?

I've decided that last-minute trips are pretty fabulous. Maria had been telling me for a month or two that I should come visit, for sure I should come down and we would have a splendid time and she would show the best that San Antonio has to offer. Things kept coming up, weekends were inevitably scheduled to the brim, but then, a week before last Saturday, I realized that I had that weekend off. And tickets were barely $200. And I hadn't seen Maria (or some of my other favorite people, like Carrie and Seven) in months and months. So I bought my tickets, packed my bag, and went to Texas for the weekend. Flew in Friday night, flew out Monday morning. Quite frankly, dahhhhhling, I think I'm meant to be a jetsetter. I Alamo'd and River Walk'd and zoo'd it up and it was all rather awesome. Carrie and Seven drove over on Sunday so we could all spend the day at the zoo, which we wrapped up by eating lots of ice cream and talking about people and things and everything that was on our minds.

Life in Colorado Springs is so much more than I ever thought it would be. I was actually not super-excited about moving to this town because with growing up in Colorado, the only thing I ever really associated with it was, "Egads, crazy neo-conservative Christians!" Turns out they mostly roost in the northern part of town, and the southern part is just a good ol' time. Lots of college students, Soldiers, families, and a great mix of people in general. One of the great things about the military is that it really is almost as egalitarian as you can get, so you get a very interesting mix of people. I'm a regular at a few places, I've met some damn interesting people, and I've learned so much about something I never thought I'd be interested in. And now I'm thinking that when I'm done with this job, I want to use my MSW-JD degree (which I'll start working on soon) to work with vets. I've known for a long time that I wanted to work toward that MSW-JD, and now I actually have a group to focus on. I know that with the experience I gain from this job, I'll be a helluva lot better at relating to those vets.

Ughhhh, my nails are driving me crazy and I can't do anything about them because my nail stuff is at home and I'm hanging out and having a lazy Sunday elsewhere. (Lazy weekends = awesome...I haven't had one in awhile, I've either had parents around, or have been at conferences or teaching CPR and First Aid, or traveling to Texas, or gawd knows what else...and the next few will be crazy, too.)

I am thoroughly loving 2009. Twenty-six is the best year yet, and things only look better from here. It's nice when things go uphill instead of otherwise. There are times when I feel I don't deserve half of what I've got, but I appreciate every second, every iota, every gift that comes my way. Working your ass off so often seems to lead to just more work and less appreciation, but my years of working toward the (admittedly vague) goal of 'helping people' seem to have paid off in spades. It's not always easy, and there will always be days when I want to cry from frustration or heartache. It is 100% worth it, though, and every pint I drink at Jack Quinn's and every glass of Los Dos I have at Il Vicino is drunk partly in celebration of that.

Happy June, everybody.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Family time and other things

Life has been...absolutely amazing. I really don't know what to think about what's happened in the past week and a half, but I'm fairly sure it's wonderful.

Pink and yellow roses and a giant game of Scrabble...lovely.

Friday, April 24, 2009

geekzzzzz

I got the hilariousest present yesterday.  One of my favorite volunteers, a WTU Soldier, brought me pretty much the best t-shirt ever.  He had it made -- the World of Warcraft Horde symbol on the back, 'The Horde Supports Red Cross' on the front, '1337' on one sleeve, and 'MEH' on the other.  It is the geekiest thing I own, and I love it.

Back story: he is convinced that I am actually a geek, I refute this.  We were talking last week and I was playing with his phone and asked him what the hell the picture was.  Apparently, it is the Horde symbol.  Somehow this morphed into him saying, "OH MAN!  I am going to have a t-shirt made that says 'The Horde supports Red Cross!'  And I'm going to make one for [our friend, another WTU Soldier] and we're going to wear them to the Red Cross volunteer lunch thing!  And you'll have to wear yours, too!"  I thought it was hilarious but there were two caveats: one, he couldn't actually use the Red Cross symbol (they're picky about that) and two, I couldn't wear it to the luncheon because I'm supposed to be all, "oh hai, I'm representin' the Red Cross."  I'll post pictures once I take some.

I still deny the geekiness, but every time we talk he insists that I am.  Whateva.  I didn't know what the Horde symbol was AND I'm not the one who's been building computers since I was eight.

This is especially cool because of the BACK back story.  We've been doing this WTU volunteer program for less than a year, and I myself have been involved with it for less than six months.  In that time, I've gotten to know a couple of the guys especially well, and the changes I've seen have been nothing less than incredible.  Soldiers are in the WTU because they're grievously injured: physically, mentally, or emotionally.  Most of them have significant PTSD issues, which cause things like paranoia in large groups or the inability to talk to people or any number of issues.  To see how open and happy these guys are when I talk to them is amazing.  I realize that every one of these Soldiers still has a long road ahead of them.  But to have played a part in even a short stretch of that road is pretty frigging awesome.  A few months ago, they never would've taken a packet of pepper, wrapped it in napkins and straw wrappers, and presented it to me on my birthday while saying (and laughing), "Happy birthday, you really...SPICE UP OUR LIVES!"  Dorky but hilarious.

It'll be a busy weekend.  The local Red Cross chapter is having their volunteer appreciation breakfast tomorrow, I have to go into work at 1730 to take some pictures of our dog therapy folks in action with patients, Sarah's coming in from Iowa, and I feel that there's something going on on Sunday but it escapes me now just what that is.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Scarlet Harlot

Lent's over tomorrow.  I can drink beer again!  However, I think I'm being punished for something because a lovely cold hit me a day or so ago which will make enjoyment of beer a smidge more difficult.  I can wait and in the meantime drown my sorrows in Russian spice tea and food with a tablespoon or two of red pepper flakes added.

However, I was talking to the chaplains a couple days ago and found out some Fun Facts! about religious holidays.  Lent is technically 46 days, but only FORTY of those days count because Sundays don't count toward the total because every Sunday is "like a little Easter."  The 40 days being representive of the time Jesus was out in the desert being tempted by Satan.  And then Pentecost is 50 days AFTER Easter, and it is basically the Church's birthday, the day that you talk to God (a la the Pentecostal Church -- talking in tongues and all that).

Cecille came for my birthday weekend and oh man did we have a good time.  I rode a Belgian horse through the Garden of the Gods, watched the Harlem Globetrotters, won a dance-off by doing The Sprinkler in high heels and a skirt, got my ass kicked at Yahtzee, and ate far more falafel than was probably good for me.  It was a good time.  And it was so so glorious to have time off.  I could get used to four and a half day weekends.  AND apparently at 5 in the morning, I can get to and from the airport in about half an hour!  I had enough time to go back to sleep for an hour before work.  That was pretty rad.

This not breathing thing is getting old.  Sinuses schminuses.  I go from not being able to breathe to having it hurt to breathe because the damn air is so dry.  Life is difficult, what can I say.

My across-the-hall neighbor invited me over to drink beer anytime I wanted.  I ran into him in the parking lot and I think he was rather toasted already.  I did, however, see a box of Michelob Light in the seat next to him, so should I ever take him up on his offer, I may bring my own beer.  (All right all right, I am snobby about one or two things and one of those things is beer.  WHATEVER it could be worse.)

Fun fact: my Fiesta placemats aren't color safe!  Whoops.  Now I have a couple pairs of socks that are teal-er than before and a towel or two with some attractive teal accents.  Rock.

Oh God, a cough.  I refuse to let this cold go past my nose.  Through sheer force of will and/or pigheadedness, I will not let it go any farther.

(Shut up, this will work.)

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Returning from a hiatus

So a friend mentioned yesterday that I should update my blog. She's pretty damn right, it's been almost a month, somehow the muse has not struck. (Or bitten me in the ass, or kicked me in the shin -- sometimes I need a little persuasion.)

Today was kind of lovely. Met up with a friend for coffee (and pumpkin scones! Delish) and then over to Borders because I am becoming my mother and not only have a Borders card, but also get their coupons in my email. I got one for "40% Off Anything." Hellooooooo, how can Barb's daughter and Thelma's granddaughter resist something like that? Turns out they were having an awesome sale on a lot of things, so I got Bedknobs and Broomsticks (love love love the old school live action/animation) for 30% off, Amy Sedaris' I Like You for $4.99, and Hiking Colorado for 40% off, which is pretty rad. If the weather's nice tomorrow, I want to go for a hike. I've not been hiking in ages; growing up in the boonies of Colorado, I heard so many horror stories about people going hiking in the winter and dying of hypothermia or getting eaten by mountain lions that I didn't think I wanted to risk that during my first winter back in Colorado. Then we went for a drive in the mountains and oh! it is beautiful here. When I think of where I could be (Fort Polk and Fort Drum come to mind), I am doubly triply bajilliontly grateful.

This week I went to my second memorial service. Those are one of those things that I think everyone should experience. The reality of war becomes much starker and more rooted in reality. A few words from the chaplain, a memorial by the commander, then one or two of the Soldier's friends speak. "Big, happy, dirty mechanic," "always there to make someone else's day better," "I saw this giant guy lumbering toward me that first day and wondered what the hell was going to happen -- he ended up being one of my best friends." Seeing a Soldier in full dress uniform fighting to hold back tears as they speak about one of their best friends, someone they considered their brother...it's not easy. The First Sergeant does the final roll call. First the names of the surviving members of the unit. "Here, First S'arnt!" "Here, First S'arnt!" Then the fallen's last name...no answer. They call him by his first and last name...no answer. Finally, and for the last time, they call out their full name...still no answer. The strains of "Amazing Grace" begin from just outside the chapel, and a piper in full regalia emerges to walk slowly past the boots and dog tags. He marches past the sea of green, a hundred Soldiers in dress greens or Class A's, and after interminable seconds, walks through the front doors of the chapel with the doors clicking shut behind him. The music fades away as you hear the shots ring out through the last, dying notes of the piper. A lone bugler plays "Taps" while everyone in the chapel stands at attention. Finally, the family is escorted to the front to say their last good-byes, and row by row, the chapel pays their respects. Two by two, the Soldiers salute their fallen brother for the last time. Everyone walks out in silence with that reminder of the true cost of war foremost in their thoughts.

And yet, every single Soldier you thank will say simply, "I'm just doing my job," and they mean every word. They accept the job knowing those risks, and do it anyway. They attend that memorial service fully aware that could have been them, knowing that when they deploy to Afghanistan or Kuwait or some other war-torn country, they could be KIA. Knowing that they're leaving behind their loved ones, knowing that their loved ones may never see them alive again, knowing that they're going to fight a war with no real end in sight. And they do it anyway, because it's their job and they know that's what they need to do.

Sometimes I think how I could get so involved in my job so quickly and how my priorities could be rearranged so absolutely. Any sacrifice I make is nothing compared to theirs, and I feel like I've been granted a rare opportunity to really make a direct difference in the lives of people who deserve it so much.

And yes, I know there's a lot that needs to be improved in our modern military. I don't have rose-colored glasses on about that. But I'm working with what's here now, and trying to make that part a little bit better. Someday I'll figure out the perfect work/life balance. Right now I'm so glad I get to do what I do, and experience these memorial services and firsthand accounts of hand-to-hand fighting and talk to a Soldier when they're experiencing the terror of their friend with terrible TBI losing a parent. He's your buddy. You're there for him.

Working with and for such incredible, resilient people makes every day something to remember. I still can't quite believe I stumbled into such an amazing job, but every day I can't put into words how grateful I am.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Wooooooo (hoo)

I figured March was going to be crazy, but what I didn't predict was how it was also going to be damn awesome.  In visitor news: my favorite uncle and his lovely wife are coming to visit this weekend, it looks like Kaitlyn will be flying in from Indianapolis with enough leeway to spend St. Patrick's Day here, Cecille's flying in from San Francisco on April 2nd (so almost March) for a long weekend, and Killary's going to get tickets to come for a long weekend in April or May!  Hahaha, oh man, I can't wait. 

Mmm, cold, cooked chicken is friggin' delicious dipped in Tony Chachere's Cajun seasoning.  I must be not eating enough fat again because I have been craving protein like crazy.  (Fun fact I discovered last time I spent my waking hours dreaming about beef jerky: when you crave protein and aren't weightlifting or whatever, it probably means that you're not getting enough fat in your diet and your body craves protein -- kind of weird, but delicious!)

We had our station inspection today, and I feel friggin' awesome about it.  All of our files were ace, they loved our Pet Therapy program, things were up-to-date, I had a nice chat with the Regional Manager, and yay! it's amazing how much stress lifted off my shoulders when that was over.  I had actually gone into work yesterday for about four hours to make sure that everything was up to snuff.  Updating our physical and computer volunteer files, organizing the office, etc.  Nothing was very outdated or anything, but I wanted to make sure it was juuuuuuuuust right.

Dropkick Murphys just came on the radio!  Even better, it's their pro-labor cover, "Which Side Are You On?"  This song is amazing live.  I love these guys, they make me so damn happy! 

Will you be a lousy scab or will you be a man?

Pub quiz tonight!  Jeff's and my team has yet to break into the top 5...or 10...but damn do we have a good time.  We call ourselves Lady's Man.  Should it be Ladies' Man?   Depends on the usage, I guess.